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(when you don't know what you want)


Hey All—

After a long break over New Zealand summer (which included a 20,000 feet skydive) I’m back—and much like you (I’m assuming)—am trying to:

— Be more deliberate about how I spend my energy and my time
— Reconnect with my purpose (they key to knowing I’m headed in the right direction)
— Set goals that are ambitious AND achievable

The truth is—after the wild and unexpected change brought on by 2020, I’m not sure what it is that I want or where I’m heading. Just thinking about it makes me want to pack it all up, call it a day and retreat to the soothingly filtered life of an instagram mom who shares sourdough recipes and exclusively wears linen.

That’s my knee-jerk reaction, at least: that inner narrative scoffing ‘Haha! You’re trying to set goals when you don’t know where you’re headed? Lolol.’

Instead of letting this voice win, I fight it. Here’s how to set goals when you’re stuck.

Don’t know what you want? Look at what you don’t want.

Cut the record scratch of:’ I don’t know what I want anymore.’ Is that really true?
It’s likely that the things you used to ‘know for sure’ about yourself are still part of who you are, even if the expression of those things has been taken away.
Recovering clarity around what you want can be done by looking at what you don’t want.
Write a list of what you don’t want. The things you do will start to shine through.

Stop trying to solve your whole life. Focus on the immediate future.

Life isn’t meant be solved.
You will continue to evolve and grow and therefore so will your goals in life.
Instead of getting overwhelmed by assuming you’re deciding the trajectory of infinity and beyond, cut back on the drama.
Decide where you want to be in 3 months time. Make it realistic without being a martyr.
Write this down as a diary entry. Be as specific as possible. Where do you wake up? Where do you go? Who is with you? What does your day look like?

Reverse Engineer your timeline.

Look at your 3 month diary entry.
Where do you need to be in 2 months time for this to happen?
Where do you need to be in 1 month?
Where do you need to be next week?
Adjust if necessary.

Happy goal-setting, friends.

You know more about what you want than you’re telling yourself.

Amy's Signature